Thursday, April 21, 2011

Drive Angry

Alright boys and girls, its been a while since I posted, and after reminiscing over my review for "Casino Royale" I have decided to write a quick review over the last movie I just witnessed. Now I went into this knowing it wasn't going to be the next "Inception", but damnit I love to drive angry, and I love Nic Cage's "shitty" acting. So me and my buddy Andy Atkinson decided to buy a bunch of crap food from the 99 Cent Store and went to town.

So ya, I watched the trailer. Which first off, told me more about the plot than the movie. Secondly, it was awfully written, but whats to expect. Thirdly, there were some awesome (and I mean awesomely bad) action scenes. The one where Cage is boning the waitress while blowing away a bunch of dudes with a cigar in his mouth and a bottle of whiskey in his hand was amazing, but you really don't need to pay attention to the movie script. It was probably about a 50 page script, mostly of descriptions of Cage's awful shots, but ya they gotta go somewhere.

Anyways, if you decide to check out this flick, make sure to have a couple beers (or shots of whiskey) and don't plan on paying too much attention to it. They never really explain the damn movie, but there are hot chicks, titties, guns, fast cars, and awful Nic Cage acting in it. Would I see it again? No. Would I recommend watching it once while you're drunk? Yes.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Indiana Jones 4

My Background
15 years I have been waiting for the fourth Indiana Jones film to come out. I used to subscribe to the "Star Wars Insider" just for 1-2 pages of Indy news and merchandise. I would search through magazines (at the time) and later the internet for all sorts of Indiana Jones stuff. When the Indiana Jones ride came to Disneyland, I used 3 rolls of film while waiting in line, taking pictures of every turn we made. I even ordered a pirated version of the Indiana Jones trilogy on DVD from Singapore that was ripped from the laser discs (I was later was notified by Ebay that this was a fake auction and got my $40 back). To say the least, I was a die hard fan of Indiana Jones, with the posters on my walls, wearing a similar leather jacket to school when it was cold, the fedora sitting on my dresser, and of course, a bull whip next to it.

Now, a decade and a half later, my childhood dreams would finally come true. After years of rumors, delays due to the Star Wars prequels, talks with Sean Connery and Kathleen Kennedy, finally Harrison For told Spielberg he would give him only a little more time to develop a script for the fourth Indiana Jones film. And then it happened... they started filming the movie. And a bombardment of advertising came with it. Everything from an Indiana Jones double Whopper to fruit snacks, to video games, to Lego toys, to a fake fabric toy whip with cracking sounds. Indiana Jones was everywhere. I would turn my TV on and within 10 mins, I would hear that oh so famous theme song... da da da duh! Whether it was a trailer for the film, or just an advertisement for some new merchandise or food, you would see some sort of Indy product on just about any channel, just about any time of the day. Now back in the day, I would have probably pissed my pants if I heard that theme song. Unfortunately, today it is just getting annoying, as much as I hate to say it. Which leads us to that day I have been counting down to for over half of my life, 12:01am on May 22, 2008.

The Theatre
Of course, we bought our Indy tickets a few days in advance for the midnight showing. The three of us left our house around 10:30, so we could get some candy to sneak in, grab some Taco Bell, and some Starbucks (normally I wouldn't drink it but I was already tired and needed something to keep me goin). So in honor of this evening, I bought some Indiana Jones M&Ms to go along with the Reese's PB Cups, Snickers, Kit Kats, Sout Patch Kids, and Sweet Tarts we had already stuffed in our friend's over sized purse. She even managed to put her Starbucks in there. So we buy the usual bucket of popcorn and a couple $5 cokes and make our way into the actual theatre. We have already seen tons of people with their Indiana Jones shirts on, some even with fedoras. I was going to bring my bull whip along, but I figured that might get me in some sort of trouble, so I just sported my Indy shirt I bought at Disneyland a few years ago.

As Johnelle and I walk into the theatre while Neil is buying our snacks, we are blown away. It can't be more than a few minutes pass 11pm and the theatre is almost completely full. There are hundreds of screaming high schoolers, many dressed up. We walk up the stairs to look for 3 seats and cannot find any. At one point I am facing the screen talking to Johnelle, trying to figure out what to do and some starts yelling "HEY INDY" behind me. Now I know the back of my shirt says Indiana Jones, but there are a hundred people dressed or sporting Indy clothing. So I ignore it. He keeps yelling, "Indy, turn around". I'm thinkin, no way he's talkin to me. Finally, after a third yell, I turn around and hes like, "hey we can scoot down if you too wanna sit here". I just laughed and said thanks, but we have 3. So finally we go down to the front, and then the madness begins. Beach balls just start flying all up and down the theatre, like at a concert or something. Everyone is going nuts. So Neil comes in, and goes, "I'm not sitting up there, we're goin to the next showing". After a few minutes, Johnelle and I agree even though all the fun is in here.

So we get to the next theatre with over an hour to go for the 12:20 show time. This is more of what we expected. Plenty of room, with a few fans. So we get second row in the middle. After a few minutes of waiting, we realize the group behind us has someone dressed like Indy, and this Asian chick with a Yankees hat on. I'm like, haha, that Asian chick looks a little like Short Round (form Temple of Doom). Then we look at this Middle Eastern dude next to her, and he's dressed in a tan suit and later puts on a red fez (hat). To say the least, it was awesome and only made me more jealous I hadn't dressed up. So after an hour of annoying movie trivia, commercials up the ass, and trailers (the Dark Knight by far the best), the lights dim and the moment I have been waiting for is here, at 12:20am... Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is beginning.

Warning, the following contains spoiler and obscene language

The Film

And so it begins. The Paramount mountain comes on screen, and actually, they use the old school "aged" looking logo. And then the mountain morphs into what appears to be an anthill or something in the desert. First 10 seconds, I'm impressed. And then what happens? (I'm blaming this and most faults on George fucking Lucas) A prairie dog comes out of it as if we were watching some stupid kids movie. And then they start playing some 50's diner-esque song while some younger kids driving through the desert race and army convoy. Alright, I'm already feelin like I'm watching something other than what Indiana Jones should be.

About five minutes into the film, our hero arrives. A few quarky/comedic lines, but thats OK with me, I expect this crap from Lucas. Then they enter the Area 51 hanger (briefly seen at the end of Raiders when they are storing away the ark). So the soviets want Indy to find this box. Indy knows its extremely magnetically sealed so he used gun powder and shotgun pellets to locate it. Pretty ridiculous, but OK. of course, he breaks loose and while leaving the warehouse, the destruction left behind him reveals an open box with what inside of it? None other than the Ark of the Covenant. I mean did we really need that?

Next scene, after escaping in the desert, Indy finds a small town. Goes into a house, only to realize its a testing site for an A-Bomb. So whats he do, he gets in a lead sealed fridge and the A-Bomb sends him flying into the desert. Of course Indy gets out of the fridge, more or less unaffected, after surviving a nuclear bomb. Oye... who the hell let Lucas write.

The movie isn't too bad now, they explain a little bit about Indy in WWII, then he meets Shia. They ride his Harley through a library on a college campus which was ridiculous but I could handle it. There is one scene where the Russians run into a statue of Marcus Brody, and the head falls off busting their car. Mutt (Shia) laughs and Indy gives him a stern look and shakes his head (going back to Last Crusade with Indy and his dad, now roles reversed). I got a kick outta that. But to ruin it, while Mutt is starting his bike back up in the library, and the Soviets are running them down, Indy decides to give a lesson to one of the students in the library while the Harley engine is revving. LAME

Things aren't goin too bad, they get to South America and get caught of course. And who do they run into? Marion (Karen Allen), who just happens to be Mutt's mom. Indy and Marion argue like in Raiders, although Marion looks old as hell, I mean worse than Indy. And her acting seems to have gone down hill a bit. And then they get stuck in a sand trap. As Indy and Marion are sinking, Indy comedically starts explaining to Mutt the difference between a sand trap and sinking mud or something like that. LAME. Then after Mutt goes to look for a rope, Marion explains to Indy that Mutt is actually his son. REALLY LAME.

Now the ridiculous car chase begins. To start off, you just see an aerial shot of the rainforest with something just tearing down everything in its path, similar to the monster in Lost. Then you find out its this giant tank thing with huge blades in the front. Pretty bad. Then Indy gets a hold of a car and they catch up to Irina (Cate Blanchett). Some crazy shit happens and somehow Mutt and Irina start swordfighting each other on separate cars to attempt to get the skull back. Of course Irina carries a sword with her. Then, very similar to Temple of Doom, Mutt's legs are on each car as he goes over trees and gets smacked in the balls. Some how he still manages to stand up and sword fight. Eventually he gets back on his car and some how manages to get stuck on a vine up in the trees (their in the Amazon FYI). He goes flying up and hundreds of monkeys start swarming him. Now this is where it gets REALLY FUCKING BAD. He starts swinging like Tarzan through the forest, while the monkeys of course are following him. So he catches up to the car chase where he jumps on Irina and the monkeys follow to jump on the Soviet car and attack them. REALLY FUCKING LAME.

So now they've lost the Soviets and are told by the crazy guy they need to go down the waterfall. So the car that Marion is driving (which just happens to look like boat), drives towards the cliff. Everyone freaks except her and she just says "relax" as then fly hundreds of feet into the river. Of course they're all still in the car and fine. They do it again. Same result. Finally they hit the third waterfall and they all fall out. At least there was some reality to this one. Then they end up on a dry part of land, only to realize that according to the riddle, they need to go back under the waterfall to return the skull. Fortunately, they cut from the guys on the land to them in the caverns under the waterfall. This is where Johnelle and I turn to each other and I say, "at least Spielberg went up to Lucas and said: Ya we're not showing that".

The film continues with more ridiculousness. They return the skull to the alien skeletons and once the 13th skull is replaced, the skeletons morph into a real live alien, and you find out the city of gold is actually a spaceship hidden underground. This part I will give some credit to, not a bad story. Then as it takes off, the water fills in the gap to leave no trace. Similar to Goldeneye.

Finally, the last scene. Indy and Marion get married. Pretty Lame, but acceptable. Then after they kiss, the doors to the church blow open and Indy's fedora blows down the aisle. Mutt looks down, picks it up and is about to put it on his head. Now this is where I am about to scream "FUCK YOU GEORGE LUCAS", but thankfully are good friend Stephen Spielberg didn't allow this to happen, as Indy grabs the hat and puts it on. Roll credits.

So overall, ya it was pretty shitty. It was no Indiana Jones movie. I think if I weren't such a huge fan, it would've been OK, ridiculous but OK. Remove Lucas from the writing and give the sole power to Spielberg, and I think it would've rocked. Either way, I will probably go see it again, just to see if maybe now that all the hype is up, it can be acceptable. Probably not. Anyways, after a decade and a half of waiting, I can honestly say that I was very disappointed. I don't know if it was the hype, the excitement, or the 19 years since the last Indy film, but this was definitely a poor showing of Indy's comeback. If I had to rate it, I would probably give it a 3.5 out of 10.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Just Another Thur Night

So it's Thur night and I didn't have to work on Fri. Originally, my plan was to just chill out, play some video games, maybe have a couple beers in the hot tub, and take it easy. Surely enough, that changed as soon as I got home. I knew I had to do some online work for the Arctic doc, and Jodi IMs me saying she doesnt have to work on Fri either, so we should go out. So I try to get everything done that I can, work out, shower, eat dinner, and finish work. As Im finishing work, Jodi is like, well I dont feel like goin out anymore. This is after I finally convinced Neil to check out this "cowboy" bar down Beach blvd I have been wanting to check out forever. So we say fuck it, have a beer at home and go out to Tumbleweeds...

So we get to this dive bar, pretty dead, no music playing (even though the website states, LIVE MUSIC EVERY NIGHT) and I order a beer. Its a pretty shitty bar, and a pint is $5. Im pretty pissed. Neil orders a water as he has to work in the mornin. So we are talking for about 5 mins and decide, fuck this lets go to Goat Hill Tavern in Newport, one of the coolest dive/hipster bars we've been to in Southern California. So I pound my Blue Moon and we head out.

We get to the bar, pretty packed, all sorts of people from college students, to slutty dressed girls, to the punk ass surfers, to the old guys just wanting to relax. Of course they have saw dust and peanut shells covering the ground, as for $1 you get a rather large container of peanuts, and for $2 you get this practically bucket of peanuts with shells. So we get a pitcher of PBR and a small order of nuts (did I mention they have 141 beers on top?)

So we are just hangin out, enjoying our Thur night. There are some cute girls, some drunk ass guys, but mostly a bunch of people hangin out. Then, as Im telling Neil a story, I look to my right and there's a fight. Turns out this guy was "lookin at this other guys girl" and the guy with the girl literally knocks this guy out. Im talking like one hit, one kill. The poor guy that probably just looked at this douchebag's girl was on the floor bleeding. So of course the bouncer break up the fight, kick out the instigator, and help carry the KO'd guy outside. Afterwards, a few bartenders come over to the spot (after many people had left) and scatter sawdust over the area of the fight to cover up the blood. Ahhh... what else could I ask for on a Thur night?!? So as we are leaving, the KO'd guy is outside with some friends, as they are trying to stop his nose from bleeding and getting him to sit up straight. And I thought this only happened in movies like "Roadhouse". Ah, gotta love dive bars!

That was about the end of our night. We decided to leave from there. I was craving donuts (normally I dont even like them, but with the overpopulation of donut shops in Cali, I was just craving a couple choc covered donuts). We never did find a donut shop in HB opened though, so we made it back home. And this is where I will leave you now. Time for bed, but what journeys will tomorrow bring? Who knows!!!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I now know why the bar has a drink limit...

Well, our time on the ship is coming to an end in about a week. And even though we will be off by Christmas, the Captain decided to have a Christmas party for all the researchers and crew aboard the Amundsen with us. It was made up of three parts: a friendly hockey game between the researchers and the crew, followed by a nice dinner buffet with wine served, and finishing off the night for a party at the bar. I remember the first two parts...

The hockey game was fun. The crew made some pretty nice goals along with goalie pads for the two goalies. They used snowmobiles to plow an area of ice of. We didnt have skates, but worked up quite a sweat running around in all our cold weather gear and boots. If youd like to check out a clip from the game, go to www.thearcticexpedition.com and click on videos. Here's a pretty cool looking frame from the video

So after three 20 minute periods in -20 deg weather, the game ended in a 3-3 tie and it was time to go back inside and warm up. And what better way to warm up than hit up the bar! Now one thing I need to explain before going any further is that all the alcoholic beverages on the ship are dirt cheap. A can of beer is $1.50 Canadian (pretty much the same as US) and a shot of rum or whiskey is $1. They want to keep it affordable because most of the crew is on the ship for 6 weeks at a time. Now due to this cheap cost for booze, there is typically a 5 drink limit per night. Now you can get around it usually, depending on the bartender, but usually just get a few extra drinks. This was not the case for the Christmas party...

So after a few pre-dinner beers, we had dinner. I was pumped, the first thing I saw were mini pizzas, then chicken wings. Honestly, I was craving pizza ever since we got on, so this was awesome! So I pour a glass of wine, get up, and my seat is taken, so I sit at another table. Well Im the only one sitting there, so the guys make room for me at the original table. Of course, they insist I bring the bottle of wine from my table over, so I do. We go through two bottle between 6 of us, then find another stock pile. We finish off one more and people are startin to exit. Well, Hugo, one of the researchers just happened to have a bottle in room, so we snuck it down and finished that off between 3 of us. This is where things really begin to get blurry. My drink count is 2 beers + about a bottle of wine.
Now the bar is open and fully rockin out. Its about 8pm and we are drunk. So what do we do? Drink more. I have a few more beers, and then I decide to start doing shots. This will be the downfall for my evening... First shot, who better to do one with than the Captain of the ship:You can see the drunkedness come out in my eyes. Now honestly, this is the last point I remember of the night, so I figured instead of trying to write any more, I will just post a few more choice pictures that I woke up to to help describe my night to myself.





Keep in mind I have no recollection of this, only my camera remembers the evening



















I think I look good compared to that guy!















OK, I think I am beginning to scare her















And that must have been my outro...








So after an evening of festivities, I make it back to my room. Of course, even I couldn't make it back without doing something else stupid. According to one of the guys that was at the bar, my finale began with me buying a beer. I open it up, take one sip, and literally fall into a wall and onto the floor. Magically, I managed to not spill one drop, but he took the beer from me and I went straight up to my room. Also, I apparently held a conversation with Tony for a few minutes before crawling into bed. Once I woke up at 730am with a killer headache, I do the usual check; wallet, camera, watch, all there. Then I look down and realize I am still wearing one shoe. I scurry in my bed to look for the other one, of course it is no where to be found. Now I am like "Fuck, I only have one shoe". Fortunately it ended up falling off the bed and I managed to make it to the bathroom and down some Excederin. Let me just tell you, the next day was pretty horrendous. I had a stomach ache and headache all day, and today (2 days after the party) I still have a headache. All I have to say is the Cannucks know how to throw a Christmas party! Now, next goal, don't black out again until the New Year!!!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

A Year's Update

Well, it's been while since my last post, but with some egging on by a certain friend currently living and Japan, I have decided to start the blog back up. I really wish I would have kept this thing updated actually. Since my last post, I have traveled to Brazil, Argentina, Germany, Austria, Canada, and currently the Arctic. Most of it was for work, but you can probably imagine that I had plenty of fun there! Besides work, I drove across the country from Indiana back to Cali with Neil, my current roommate. Things didn't work out too well at Uncle Randy's (actually, it was just Beth that was insane) so I ended up getting an apt with Neil in Huntington, along with my new friend Laura from Michigan. We randomly met on the streets after the bars closed in Huntington, as my Scottish friend that was staying with me went up and started talking to her. Now we hang out, along with Katie, another Midwesterner all the time and have a hell of a time in the OC!

Of course, I still make my way up to LA to party with Horwitz and Venetia like the old days, of course now the Indiana crowd has grown. Not only have Ashley, Kyle, and Joey moved up to LA from Indiana, but I have probably met more Hoosiers from IU in LA than people from Cali! Overall, I would have to say moving out to Souther California was the best idea I have ever had. I am having the time of my life, with a lot of new friends, and old friends. And I thought "My Life was a Sitcom" back at IU... wow I had no idea what was about to come! Anyways, keep watching for new posts, as my current status is aboard the CCGS Amundsen in the middle of the frickin' Arctic, north of Canada. It just never ends! Until next time....


-Shaggy (oh ya, I recieved this nickname on the trip to Brazil...)

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Casino Royale

Ah, so I finally saw the new Bond flick, Casino Royale, starring the latest Bond, Daniel Craig. After hearing quite a few reviews declaring this as the best Bond since Sean Connery, I was obviously excited. Also hearing what Neil and Schwartz thought of it, raving how great it was, made me even more excited for it. But what do I think of it now that I saw it? Eh. Yes, thats about it. The story was OK, the action scenes were pretty cool, but the lack of many things really brought it down. (*WARNING* - the following may include spoilers, don't read it unless you have already seen Casino Royale or don't plan on seeing it for a while!)

The Pros of the Movie
The movie really started off kind of cool, black and white, and mysterious. I also like how Bond is being promoted to 00 status, and on one of his first missions he pisses M off so much that she wants to get rid of him. The fight scenes are what I would have to say were more badass than previous. Bond actually gets hurt, his tuxedo is bloody, he almost dies, he gets tortured but is still a badass. And the ending is probably the sweetest part of the film (and just about the only redeeming factor for the last 20 mins) as he sneaks up on the guy and does the usual "Bond, James Bond" quote. Also, when he makes up the martini and orders one without caring if its shaken or stirred was a plus.

The Cons
OK, no Money Penny, I can handle that. No Q though?!? WTF! And this leads to my next problem, where the hell were all the gadgets? Now the Aston Martin was cool as hell, along with the extras in the dash, but he doesn't even drive it 5 mins in the film! And the one real car chase lasts about 20 secs. Now there were many running scenes while Bond is on foot which were cool, but why give him such a sweet ass car and not even really use it. I do not know.

And the girls. Now the latino chick in the begining was pretty hot, but the main female role? I don't think so. Chiffre's g/f did turn sluttier and sluttier from scene to scene, but I don't think she even had one spoken role, let alone was in more than 3 short scenes. And the main female role's name is Vesper. What happened to Pussy Galore?!? And the only somewhat sexual induendo was talking about his pinky. Nothing compared to "I thought Christmas only 'comes' once a year".

And what kind of Bond villain gets jumped by a couple of freedom fighters in his hotel room. He doesn't even have a cool back story, just an eye that bleads? His henchmen weren't even crazy asses. Just some bald guy that wasn't even intimidating with a crazy ass Daniel Craig running around.

Conclusion
So did I enjoy it? Yes. Did it beat out Goldeneye as my favorite? No way in hell. Daniel Craig is a baddass, and was a pretty sweet actor, but I think they showed off his body more times than the girls. And throughout the movie, I kept forgetting it was even Bond with the lack of gadgets, suaveness, and sex scenes. The locations were exotic, the cars kicked ass, and they even brought back Felix which hasn't been in a Bond movie since the Timothy Dalton era (probably my second favorite Bond). Rating the movie, I would give it an 8/10. Rating it as purely a Bond movie though, I would probably have to lower it down to a 6/10. Please comment and let me know your thoughts!

Friday, November 17, 2006

FU MANCHU

Ah, so Matt decided to drive 3 hrs from El Centro to Costa Mesa to see Fu Manchu on a Thur nite. And he had to work the next day! It all started when we got there at 8:30pm. We thought the show started at 9pm. We were wrong. We waited outside the "Detroit Bar" until 9pm, when the doors opened. We did however meet this old guy who had apparently been rockin out to Fu Manchu since he was a kid (if I had to guess, he was between 35 and 40) He then introduced us to his wife, which was hot and loved rock n roll! I think Matt was in heaven hahaha! This is all while I am waiting for Cynthia and her friend to meet us at the bar after attempting to see Tenacious D perform a free concert, which turned into being just a giant MySpace lie.


So after a couple beers, the show starts. As Fu Manchu is performing their first song, I notice an older looking fellow in a ripped grey t-shirt just start jumping like a fucking kangaroo, straight up in the air. The guy was a maniac. I thought security would get involved, but I shortly learned that he wouldnt be a problem compared to what we were about to see. Another great character was the dude with the long blonde hair, head banging in front of the stage. His hair literally almost hit the ceiling, it must have been like 4 feet long. The rest of the crowd was a mix of punk looking rockers and good old tattooed biker rockers. This combination with heavy guitar riffs and shouting lyrics turned the venue into a good old fashioned mosh pit.


About 2 songs into the set, some dude just starts pushing and moshing. He was thrown out in a few minutes. Then I look over near the bar, and theres a stoner lookin dude with long hair and a biker guy with a shaved head fighting. The shaved head guy takes the stoner guys head, grabs his hair and smashes him into the bar. They were both escorted out, although the stoner guy came back towards the end. He also complained to the security that the biker dude "pulled his hair". So a few songs later, towards the end of the show, a tattooed dude in a wife beater with spikey hair is doin some funky dance moves (kind of like the streaker did during Bob Dylna's set on that MTV awards show back in the 90's). He pushes me aside and starts talkin to some other concert goers. Out of no where, the security guards grab him and take him out. I guess there are rules against stupid dancing.


The show is reaching an end. The lead singer gives a shout out to his wife for their anniversary (a first for me to hear at a rock show). He then explains that this will be the last song. Most of the crowd has either been kicked out or has left by now around 1am. So about 2 mins into the last song, I get drenched. I'm like WTF. I then notice an empty beer cup fall to my feet. Within about 15 secs, 2 security guards push me out of the way, and grab this dude in a headlock. They literally drug him out while I thought his head was going to pop due to its purpleish-red color. As we are leaving, the douchebag that couldnt wait 30 more seconds for the concert to end before getting kicked out, is arguing with the bouncers. To make things even better, hes got an accent and is bitching about the US shows. To make things even better, as we leave the bar, the fog is so thick that I cant see 10 ft ahead of me. Of course, Matt and Cynthia have to follow me home on the 405 which was only going about 40 mph, which is unheard of in LA. So that was my first experience with the Detroit Bar and Fu Manchu. I can only home my next experience will be just as violent.

Up Next: Partying' Up with Uncle Randy and Horwitz!